How Do You Solve a Problem like Maria?

Someone I told about the nuns in the radiation waiting room sang this little line from The Sound of Music. I was officially initiated today in the waiting room. Sister Marie sat me down and told me she was going to tell me the rules and that if I ever break any of them, I will be required to make a monetary donation to her 18-wheel truck bank. (No piggy bank for Sister Marie.)

Rule #1 - Always, always wear my name tag in the waiting room and make sure Jon wears his too. Failure to do so carries a fine of at least a nickle per violator.

Rule #2 - Never, never say "My number's up" when my number pops up on the electronic display to show me it's my turn for radiation. Instead, I must say, "Bingo!" - "like you've just won $16,000." (Sister Marie's words.) Failure to show proper enthusiasm also carries a fine of at least a nickle.

Rule #3 - Never, never, NEVER sit in Sister Marie's chair. Violation requires a donation of folded green stuff to the bank. Nickles are not accepted in such cases. Sister Owen told me I could sit in her chair anytime I wanted. Sister Marie said Sister Owen doesn't have any backbone.

Rule #4 - Sister Marie may deliver corporal punishment to any misbehaving patient or patient's family member at her discretion. "You can sue me if you want." She keeps a giant fly swatter handy - her "people swatter" - and I hear that she does use it.